Waiting for the life to flow
Waiting for the light to glow
This is how'll you'll know
When all my hopes are fading(fading)
Still you'll see me waiting(waiting)
I cannot run away
Leastwise not too far
All I do is stay
Staring up at stars
Well all my hopes are fading (fading)
Still I stand here waiting (waiting)
Somehow that voice still tells me
This will all be worth it one day
And I know the lies, despite how they choke
Cannot suffocate what I already know
But I cannot find the peace of mind
My soul will not be still
And I cannot blame my skin completely
I cannot, but I will
I'd run a thousand miles in anger
Swim jealously across the seas
Build a mansion out of sadness
To escape from this disease!
My constant patient hunger..
My smile so eager to please...
My dreadful lasting madness!!
To the wrong gods I appease
And what if I'm afraid the truth
Would hurt the ones I love?
And what if I'm afraid the truth
Would hurt the One above?
And what if I'm afraid the truth
Will only make me see..
That diving in the truth
Will finally set me free
I'm afraid to lose the walls
Because I'm afraid to feel
I'm afraid to show my wounds
Because I'm afraid they'll heal
Now my scars are fading (fading)
But still I find me waiting (waiting)
They said my faith was stunning
So why have I stopped running
They said that I could really make it
So why do I fake it? Take it?
Forsake it!
In a room of a thousand choices
Indecision finds me high and dry
I find that its not chances are lacking
But the fact that I fail to try
And maybe I'd finally get some wings
If I dared to learn to fly
And maybe I'd have less pressure
If I let flood my eyes
And maybe I'd be more trusting
If I removed my own disguise
And maybe I could rest in the truth
If I stopped living such eloquent lies
Cause honestly?
I'm not that nice
I just hate to disappoint
Father, I find it shocking
That you still hang around
When I've been tossing breadcrumbs
Making not a sound
Abba, Daddy,
Save me please
Elohim, Creater,
I'm on my knees
Im dying here once again
Once Again Crying out
I thought I could do this
But Again I've found out
I thought I could do this
But I just don't know how
..........<<<<<<<<
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Author's Comments
(I am my greatest enemy
I choose my greatest sin I am a monster I've created How long will I win?) I recently come to the conclusion That Im all to easily depressed ... Joyful, yet depressed? or what...? AND I hide these things away and ignore them until I am alone aghhh talk about emotional constipation... |
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Comments
absolutely loved it well done
--
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:3,24
Woah... that's a lot of emotion in a few short words.
It somehow sounds a lot like myself...
And one Rich Mullins.
You who live in heaven
Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth
Who are afraid of being left by those we love
And who get hardened by the hurt
Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape
To find the faith to ask for daily bread
Did You forget about us after You had flown away
Well I memorized every word You said
Still I'm so scared, I'm holding my breath
While You're up there just playing hard to get
You who live in radiance
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin
We have a love that's not as patient as Yours was
Still we do love now and then
Did You ever know loneliness
Did You ever know need
Do You remember just how long a night can get?
When You were barely holding on
And Your friends fall asleep
And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat
Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While You're up there just playing hard to get?
And I know you bore our sorrows
And I know you feel our pain
And I know it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained
And I know that I am only lashing out
At the One who loves me most
And after I figured this, somehow
All I really need to know
Is if You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time
We can't see what's ahead
And we can not get free of what we've left behind
I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears
All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret
I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here
Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led
And so You've been here all along I guess
It's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get
I think that's the song my heart sings all too often.
--
*TheWritersMeow
Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk - How to save a Life (The Fray)
that was a very direct statement!
--
I know
This is something different
And I know
This is something new
And I know
I'd never take this step
If I wasn't walking with you
--
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:3,24
So, have you smiled slightly and shaken your head side to side thinking/saying, "Oh that Brittany.."?
In all seriousness... this is a beautifully written poem.
And I loved talking to you last night.
So thank you.
I know you can do this.
And I know you won't fail.
--
To understand love, you must experience love.
To understand God, you must experience God.
[God is love. Love is real.]
thank you!
and i loved it as well!!
we're gonna make it after all <3
--
I know
This is something different
And I know
This is something new
And I know
I'd never take this step
If I wasn't walking with you
That's pretty much why you boulder.
--
To understand love, you must experience love.
To understand God, you must experience God.
[God is love. Love is real.]
--
I know
This is something different
And I know
This is something new
And I know
I'd never take this step
If I wasn't walking with you
"I'm afraid to show my wounds
Because I'm afraid they'll heal" <--
--
~ "When Asla shakes his mane, it's spring again!" ~
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