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Breathing Deeper Now by ~One-Yellow-Flower:iconOne-Yellow-Flower:



Waiting for the life to flow
Waiting for the light to glow
This is how'll you'll know
When all my hopes are fading(fading)
Still you'll see me waiting(waiting)

I cannot run away
Leastwise not too far
All I do is stay
Staring up at stars
Well all my hopes are fading (fading)
Still I stand here waiting (waiting)
Somehow that voice still tells me
This will all be worth it one day

And I know the lies, despite how they choke
Cannot suffocate what I already know
But I cannot find the peace of mind
My soul will not be still
And I cannot blame my skin completely
I cannot, but I will

I'd run a thousand miles in anger
Swim jealously across the seas
Build a mansion out of sadness
To escape from this disease!
My constant patient hunger..
My smile so eager to please...
My dreadful lasting madness!!
To the wrong gods I appease

And what if I'm afraid the truth
Would hurt the ones I love?
And what if I'm afraid the truth
Would hurt the One above?
And what if I'm afraid the truth
Will only make me see..
That diving in the truth
Will finally set me free

I'm afraid to lose the walls
Because I'm afraid to feel
I'm afraid to show my wounds
Because I'm afraid they'll heal
Now my scars are fading (fading)
But still I find me waiting (waiting)

They said my faith was stunning
So why have I stopped running
They said that I could really make it
So why do I fake it? Take it?
Forsake it!

In a room of a thousand choices
Indecision finds me high and dry
I find that its not chances are lacking
But the fact that I fail to try
And maybe I'd finally get some wings
If I dared to learn to fly
And maybe I'd have less pressure
If I let flood my eyes
And maybe I'd be more trusting
If I removed my own disguise

And maybe I could rest in the truth
If I stopped living such eloquent lies
Cause honestly?
I'm not that nice
I just hate to disappoint

Father, I find it shocking
That you still hang around
When I've been tossing breadcrumbs
Making not a sound
Abba, Daddy,
Save me please
Elohim, Creater,
I'm on my knees
Im dying here once again
Once Again Crying out
I thought I could do this
But Again I've found out
I thought I could do this
But I just don't know how
..........<<<<<<<<
©2008-2009 ~One-Yellow-Flower
:iconone-yellow-flower:

Author's Comments

(I am my greatest enemy
I choose my greatest sin
I am a monster I've created
How long will I win?)


I recently come to the conclusion
That Im all to easily depressed
...
Joyful, yet depressed?
or what...?
AND I hide these things away and ignore them
until I am alone


aghhh
talk about emotional constipation...

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconeclipsedmoon17:
loved it
absolutely loved it well done

--
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 16:3,24
:iconplatinummyr:
*gasp*

Woah... that's a lot of emotion in a few short words.

It somehow sounds a lot like myself...

And one Rich Mullins.

You who live in heaven

Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth

Who are afraid of being left by those we love

And who get hardened by the hurt

Do you remember when You lived down here where we all scrape

To find the faith to ask for daily bread

Did You forget about us after You had flown away

Well I memorized every word You said

Still I'm so scared, I'm holding my breath

While You're up there just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance

Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin

We have a love that's not as patient as Yours was

Still we do love now and then

Did You ever know loneliness

Did You ever know need

Do You remember just how long a night can get?

When You were barely holding on

And Your friends fall asleep

And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat

Will those who mourn be left uncomforted

While You're up there just playing hard to get?

And I know you bore our sorrows

And I know you feel our pain

And I know it would not hurt any less

Even if it could be explained

And I know that I am only lashing out

At the One who loves me most

And after I figured this, somehow

All I really need to know

Is if You who live in eternity

Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time

We can't see what's ahead

And we can not get free of what we've left behind

I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears

All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret

I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here

Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led

And so You've been here all along I guess

It's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get


I think that's the song my heart sings all too often.

--
*TheWritersMeow
Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk
- How to save a Life (The Fray)
:iconone-yellow-flower:
thank you
that was a very direct statement!

--
I know
This is something different
And I know
This is something new
And I know
I'd never take this step
If I wasn't walking with you
:iconeclipsedmoon17:
your welcome :)

--
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 16:3,24
:iconbrisni:
Okay, I'm sorry to be so silly in light of such a serious poem... but 'constipation' is a funny word. xD

So, have you smiled slightly and shaken your head side to side thinking/saying, "Oh that Brittany.."? :P

In all seriousness... this is a beautifully written poem.
And I loved talking to you last night.
So thank you.
:hug:

I know you can do this.
And I know you won't fail.

--

To understand love, you must experience love.
To understand God, you must experience God.

[God is love. Love is real.]
:iconone-yellow-flower:
haha its cool, i totally agree, it is quite silly.. and kinda gross too..but that helps with the symbolism i think... lol

thank you!
and i loved it as well!!


we're gonna make it after all <3

--
I know
This is something different
And I know
This is something new
And I know
I'd never take this step
If I wasn't walking with you
:iconbrisni:
:hug:

That's pretty much why you boulder.

--

To understand love, you must experience love.
To understand God, you must experience God.

[God is love. Love is real.]
:iconone-yellow-flower:
we boulder :headbang:

--
I know
This is something different
And I know
This is something new
And I know
I'd never take this step
If I wasn't walking with you
:iconwkrige:
i wish i had something infinitely wise to say. i wish i could offer a solution you don't know already. i wish i could solve life's riddles for you, only because i know that it's hard and i've been there myself. and so reading this lovely poem i can only safely say that you are human after all. it's great that you get up and own up. too many people never do. it's a good thing God is bigger than our constant mistakes..or we'd never make it! He truly is our only hope.

"I'm afraid to show my wounds
Because I'm afraid they'll heal"
<-- :star: especially


--
~ "When Asla shakes his mane, it's spring again!" ~

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September 17, 2008
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